Nagging Part 2

That’s right. The nagging continues.

It happened near the end of my family dinner. My dad and brothers had left the table (good move), and I was left with mum.

“Don’t forget you need to do XYZ tomorrow, and buy of ABC, and … CDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVW…”

“Yes mum”

“Don’t forget you need to go [here] and [there] with me on Saturday.”

“Mum…”

“And don’t forget…”

“Mum, you’re nagging again.”

… quiet …

I was expecting her to nag on about how she doesn’t nag, so I wasn’t expecting what she said next.

“You know Tina, there’s lots of kids who complain about their mums nagging, but when their mum’s aren’t here anymore, a lot of them say how much they miss their mum’s nagging.”

“That’s so true mum. I love you.”

Nah, that’s not what I said. I should’ve, would’ve been nice, but instead I said, “Yea right, ain’t gonna happen to me, mum. I will miss you, whether you nag or not. So that’s no excuse to nag!”

Being mum, she of course has the last word: “I may tell you to do this and do that, but that’s only because I care. Look at your dad. He doesn’t nag. But He doesn’t care either whether you have enough to eat, whether you come home at night alright – he sleeps soundly regardless – whether you have your life in order.”

Funny how mum managed to equate CARE = NAG. NO NAG = NO CARE.

Anyways, that night I received an email attachment entitled “Mean Mums”. How appropriate, I thought.

It happened to be a poor attempt at constructing a poem, but quite fitting to my circumstances nonetheless. It read:

~ M E A N   M U M S ~

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent,

I will tell them, as my Mean Mum told me:

I loved you enough…to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough…to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Was your Mum mean? I know mine was.

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and Twisties for lunch,we had to eat sandwiches.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times, who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenages, she could read our minds, and had eyes in the back of her head. Back then, life was really tough!

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. [Yeah right]

Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalising other’s property or even arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mum was. Perhaps that’s what’s wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean mums!

To think all this time we thought world peace was to be achieved though ending conflict and spreading compassion, when really it was just we needed more meaner mums! Don’t tell my mum that, otherwise she’ll tell me her nagging is going to get her the Noble Peace Prize!