The Rhythms of Life

I know my writings often revolve around Buddhism. But tonight I want to discuss about a Taoist concept of Wu wei. I won’t attempt to pretend I know the exact meaning of what it is, as to me I feel that like a lot of Taoist concepts, a precise definition of it would reduce it to a meaningless paradox. So I’ll leave it to the ‘experts’ at Wikipedia to explain it to you.

Though, if I may provide my definition, it would be this: it is where one thinks, speaks, acts and lives in accordance with the natural rhythms of life, rather than against it. It requires a level of wisdom to see the true nature of things, and the ability to work within nature’s flow. Similar to the Buddhist view of egolessness or non-self (Pali: anatta), the Taoist views the natural way as one which is not centred on the satisfaction and securing of the egoistic self. Our actions then are not harmful or selfish, but gentle and selfless.

No doubt you would have come across the famous analogy of the water flowing around the rocks of a running stream. The water gently flows down the stream without disturbing the rocks, but in time, the rock will eventually give way to the persistent force of the water. Often, we stressfully face the difficulties in our lives by hitting them head on, believing that the resolution lies in removing these problems – right now.

Another approach, though, is to skillfully maneouver around them with ease and without disturbance. This doesn’t mean avoidance. The water of the stream may flow around the rocks, but at times, it can flow over and above. It could slip gently between the crack dividing the rock and the dirt that supports it. Similarly, for some problems we may need to tackle them directly and overtly, dealing with the immediate superficial issues, while for other problems, we may need to get to the core to unravel the foundation upon which the problems have been allowed to fester. Patience is an essential element in all of this. Too often we get in too quick and give up too abruptly, without properly assessing the situation or allowing the conditions we have created to slowly take effect at its own pace. In our fast-paced instant-gratification society, it is little wonder why it would seem wu-wei would be an extremely difficult concept to practice. Yet it’s not.

A practical example of its application is people. People relations and its associated problem is a persistent issue since the dawn of civilisation. The Ego vs Ego battle is constant, as different (and stubborn) personalities clash. It is an inability firstly to properly understand the other person’s perspective, habitual tendencies or background. Second is inadequate self-awareness of our own perspective, habitual tendencies or background. Thirdly is the inmovableness of either one of these egos.

For example, at work you may have colleagues who are hot-tempered and then you have some who are pushovers. Your approach to both would obviously be different, and you will need to skillfully adapt your own habitual tendency to suit them for the harmony of the office. If you’re thinking, “Why should I have to change my habits to suit them?” That’s invariably just your ego arguing for affirmation of its worth. Just as the water won’t complain about having to flow pass the rocks, why should we get bogged down by needing to maneuver pass these personalities?

This can be similarly applied to your personal relationships, friendships, parenting, studying, working, and whole attitude towards dealing with change. Over time, you will feel so at peace with the world, that little would upset you. You can shrug at the niggly problems of life, laugh of the absurdity of life, and ride with confidence along the rhythms of life.

Ultimate Happiness

Trivia: What is the one thing that everyone – regardless of age, ethnicity, social background – is looking for? What is the primary universal motivating factor? What is the answer to the cliche question about the meaning of life?

The answer is so simple, we often miss it. What we’re all looking for is happiness, and the pursuit to get it becomes our motivation and purpose of life. The complication comes from the myriad sources of that happiness. Some find happiness in the relationships they have, the work they do, the things they have, the moments they live, or even just being the humble person they are. Unhappiness often rears its ugly head when we don’t get these sources of happiness, or when we get it and realise that it doesn’t fulfill our expectations of happiness.

Make no mistake that that house or car you want to buy will not give you lasting happiness. Nor will you find the perfect partner to satisfy all your needs.  Don’t waste your time looking for a job that allows you to enjoy every minute of it.

Pessimistic? Just realistic. If you’re looking for the perfect thing, person or moment to make happiness enter your heart, you’re looking in the wrong place, for the wrong thing.

Let’s investigate this a little further. Why is it that perfection doesn’t exist, or even if it did, loses its appeal? Why is happiness from these worldly things so shortlived? Why is it that love turns to hate, care into bitterness, and attachment into indifference?

The reason is IMPERMANENCE.

Things, people and moments are impermanent.

Feelings of like and dislike are impermanent.

Thoughts on worth and uselessness are impermanent.

All are subject to change.

You may have sleepless nights thinking about buying that house, car, dress, watch, etc…then you might see something better, or you get it and realise it’s not that crash hot after all. You get used to it, and the novelty wears off.

You fall in love, and without even realising it, you realise you’ve stopped caring. Or you fall in love with someone you’ve known for years but never had those feelings for them until now. What’s changed?

You set to reach a goal, and believe happiness is waiting for you there. Then you reach there and would rather take the exit out.

For those trekking along life without a thought of impermanence are shocked when impermanence visits. For those who are aware that impermanence will one day visit may also live with a fear or worry as they wait for its inevitable visit.

At the end of the day, it is the impermanent nature of all things that creates a tinge of sadness that underlies the time we have with these things. Whether we’re consciously aware of its existence or not, it is a threatening presence that exists to change the status quo we are so comfortable with.

This is the First Noble Truth of dukkha as described by the Buddha.

However, impermanence itself is not to blame nor the core source of our unhappiness – it is merely the way things are. All that is conditional would be subject to changes of these conditions. Why suffering exists is when we attach to the status quo, the way things are, the way we want our lives to be. This attachment defies impermanence, going against the natural ways of the world. We want to live forever without sickness or harm, or we wish that for the loved ones around us. We want to hold onto our worldly possessions, reputation, and relationships, for as long as we want them near. And we want to be able to let go when we want to, even if it’s not yet time.

This attachment, this thirst for what we want and craving to rid what we don’t want, is the Second Noble Truth.

Now we turn what may so far have been a pessimistic (yet realistic) view to provide a positive solution. If these conditional and impermanent sources of happiness creates ultimately a sadness in our parting with them, then the ultimate happiness must be free of conditionality and be permanent and stable. Is it possible? It is. Buddhist scriptures have defined this as Nibanna, Enlightenment, inner freedom, self-realisation, etc.

To find this state, the journey is one of practice and experience. The practice of the fourth Noble Truth of the Noble Eightfold Path. Also, you need to experience, investigate, contemplate, and go through some trial and error. It’s your journey, your thesis, your pursuit. Does this make you happy? Why or why not? How about this? Does this give you contentment? Why or why not? Does this add a burden to your heart, a worry to your brow, a stress on your mind? Why or why not? Does this make you shed tears of saddness or tears of wonder?

Ultimately, you should see the underlying commonality between the positive and negative states. Ultimately you will begin to ask yourself, “Have I had enough?” Ultimately you will start looking beyond these typical worldly sources of happiness to something more ultimate, one that makes your heart light with liberation, you smile bright with compassion and a life lived with understanding of what it really means to be happy.