Spring Cleaning the Home and the Heart

I never thought too much about spring cleaning until I had a real yearning recently to clean after months of living comfortably with the ‘stuff’ that was neatly stacked in strategic corners of my house.

It seems to me that animals weren’t the only ones who needed to hibernate and feel a need to store up during the colder months. Winter brought with it lethargy, depression and…hoarding.

Spring Cleaning the Home

Then spring comes. There’s something magical about the first few days of spring. Like the light at the end of a tunnel, the warm sunshine brings relief to the months and months of winter chills. The sun cheers up our moods, energises us out of hibernation, and opens our doors to the adventures of the great outdoors again. It makes us see the world in a different light – including our own homes.

So with much enthusiasm, I diligently went through each pile and each piece, rearranging things into their new homes or throwing them out if they were no longer needed. There were times when I hesitated and asked myself, “Should I, or shouldn’t I?” However, after seeing the piles of stuff I had kept “just in case” I might use it one day, but then not really using it anyway, I realised that if I hadn’t used it in the last six months, I wasn’t going to use it ever.

If I chose to keep a particular item, I would store it somewhere to create that sense of order. If I chose to throw something out, then I would do so without hesitating.

Surprisingly, each time I decided to throw something out, I actually felt glad to be ridding it from my life. I didn’t feel a sense of loss, but more of a sense of lightness. After all, the material clutter that surrounds us translates to a mental clutter within us.

Spring Cleaning the body, mind and spirit

Reflecting on this experience of letting go of the unwanted things in my life, I can see that we carry so much useless ‘stuff’ with us wherever we go.

Our bodies are in a continual state of tension and tiredness from the stress that we impose on it. I believe that many of us have forgotten what our bodies feel like when it’s truly relaxed because we have become so used to it in its tense state.

Our minds hold a lot of ‘stuff’ too – worries, fears, anxieties, daydreams, memories (good and bad), and that voice in our heads that is forever commenting and judging.

Finally, our hearts become a safe filled with hardened emotions and emotional baggage, some of which we may have even forgotten we deposited in there until it shocks us when it decides to resurface.

How to clean within

We can use the same clearing process of the physical home with our inner home.

We need to take it one piece from one pile at a time. We can start with any recurring thoughts or feelings that we do not find useful, or even harmful. We need to begin by seeing those thoughts or feelings objectively, because we can never clear anything if we still see it as ‘ours’. You then need to make a conscious choice: ‘Do I want to keep this, or do I want to throw it away?’

If you decide to keep it, then at least you know you have made this choice and you can then ‘store’ it in a place that is comfortable for you. If you decide to throwing it away, then you can visualise yourself letting it go with a triumphant smile. If it helps, you can even write it down what you are trying to rid and then erasing it or throwing the piece of paper away as a symbol of discarding those useless thoughts or emotions.

Surprisingly, we don’t only hoard material things ‘just in case’ we use them one day; we also attach onto a lot of emotions and thoughts in the same way as well. For example, we may hold onto a particular expectation or hope, believing that if we don’t then we would lose sight of our goal or lose our motivation. We may hold onto memories, for fear that should we stop replaying the scene in our heads, the moment would be lost forever. Memories, thoughts, emotions, play an important in our lives. However, if they begin to overcrowd our lives, then it’s a sure sign we need a spring cleaning to de-clutter.

Finally, one of the reasons I need to throw things out is because if I don’t, then I won’t have enough space to bring in anything new. In fact, by being conscious of the limited storage space at home, I become more mindful and vigilant in what I decide to buy. So before I make any impulse buys, I ask myself whether it’s needed and whether I am willing to sacrifice valuable storage space for this item.

Likewise, people fall into an emotional rut or an endless daydream when they are stuck in their old thinking styles. Until they can alter their way of thinking and open up their hearts to change, then it is difficult for anything new to enter into their lives in a profound and moving way. If we can think in this way, the next time that we choose to keep a particular thought pattern or negative emotion, we can consider what valuable space we are sacrificing that could be used to accommodate positivity instead.

Then, like a breath of fresh air in an early spring morning, we can experience a piece of calm and lightness, where our burdens no longer hold us down.

Know thy self

Will you take off that mask? Can you?

~γνῶθι σεαυτόν gnōthi seauton~

From the philosophers of Greece, to the astrologers of the ancient world, to the esoteric practices of India, to the modern day psychologists…the time-honoured search for who we are and why we are here has continued in different forms, but still left unanswered.

In our contemporary society, knowing thyself comes from reading Self-Help books, doing Personality Tests forwarded to you via email, reading your astrology profile online, and ticking forms that ask you for about your age, sex, marital status and the like.

We don’t think twice when people ask who we are; often we instinctively think of ourselves in terms of the roles we play in life, particularly our job position. If someone comes up to you at a party and asks you, “What do you do?” I would imagine most of us would answer our occupation, e.g., I’m a lawyer, I’m a student, “I’m not working at the moment.” That seems to be the socially-acceptable thing to say. If I answered with, “I’m a daughter and a sister to three brothers.” They’ll say, “That’s nice, but what do you do with your time?” In which if I said, “I talk to people all day, I teach whenever I can, I learn about everything that interests me, I counsel people when they are down and inspire them to continue doing the good things they are doing. I love to laugh, but know when to cry, I am passionate about life……” The person is likely to have walked off by then. One would get a similar answer if replying, “I’m a myrid of things depending on whatever circumstances I find myself in and whomever I am with. I’m a lover of life, and an observer of the world.” Wierdo…

So in our mad dash through life, we only have brief moments of reflection, and often don’t go anywhere near the core self. There are so many things obscuring our understanding of who we are, that our true identity becomes buried and forgotten.

Below I will outline some of the things obscuring our vision of who we are, and in the next blog post I will discuss the importance of seeing who we are, and how we can do this.

Obstacles to knowing thy self

1. False mirrors: it is usual that we rely on something exterior to ourselves to reflect back to us our self-image. These mirrors may take the form of a generalised personality analysis, or astrology reading, etc. It may even be the people around us reflecting back to us who we are. At times, these may be the only clues we have of ourselves, and sets a basic start to our self-discovery. However, these are always generalised and inaccurate. When it comes to others’ perceptions of ourselves, they are always biased and will only be a perspective of us that is tainted by their own preconceptions and feelings about us, as well as tainted by the image we have emulated to them about us. It is biased because our friends are likely to see the goodness in us, and our enemies exaggerate our faults.
2. The masquerade party of facardes: there are so many facets of ourselves, so many roles we play, and so many identities and fronts we put up to the world outside. In a way, we need to. We can’t show our true self all the time, firstly because we don’t know our true self, secondly because exposing our vulnerabilities to those who are untrustworthy could cause great detriment to ourselves and others, and finally, because a certain level of mindful restraint is required so we don’t act out of anger, ill will, greed, fear or delusion. However, with all the facardes we put up, how many of us are aware of them? How many times do we put them up and don’t (or can’t) take them off? How many of these facardes have merged into reality and taken by others and ourselves as who we are?
3. The greatest illusionist…is ourselves: The most dangerous lies are those which are closest to the truth, those taken to be the truth, and those which have become so embedded into our consciousness and perceptions that even we believe that the lie is true. We lie to ourselves all the time, whether subconsciously or intentionally. We see only what we want to see. We ignore vast amounts of information every day because it doesn’t fit into our paradigm of the world as we understand it. Likewise, we see ourselves in a particular way, and we choose people as our friends because they see us in that same light. We dismiss and dislike views contrary to what we believe of ourselves. Ultimately, we are the one who is the hardest person to convince of our own identity.
4. Playing hide and seek: Our identity and portrays of ourselves are in constant flux. It changes depending on who we are with, what we are doing, the circumstances we find ourselves in, the emotions and drives that are in play at that moment in time, and of course, the external mirrors and internal filters. When we feel we can lock down who we are, the self eludes us in a game of hide and seek. The more we grasp onto the self we saw, without acknowledging its ability to change and have its own agency, the further we are to acknowledging the ‘self’ as it is in that point in time.
5. Self-protection of our ‘self’: For those practicing Buddhists, you would be familiar with the Pali word anatta, translated as ‘non-self’. The greatest illusion created by the self is itself, and it protects this image for its survival. The Buddha had taught in the Anattalakkhana Sutta that the dependence of the ego on the myrid causes and conditions that brought it to fruition means that it is subject to change and impermanence. As it is impermanent, it is unstable and therefore lacking in consistent unity. That is, it is non-self. Ironically though, to understand non-self, it is vital to first understand the illusion of the self, so as to break through this illusion and our attachment to this fictitious self.

In understanding and seeing the above obstacles, we can start to unravel the security blankets wrapped around our ego. You may fear that in taking down the layers of self-protection, you will be exposed and left vulnerable. In my next blog entry, I will discuss the methods to doing so, as well as the reason and importance of breaking down the barriers blocking our true self from shining with confidence, acceptance, tranquility and love.

In-Decision

Life is often compared to a journey on a road with twists and turns, bumps and potholes. Unsurprisingly, on this road there are also crossroads in which a choice needs to be made. Some respond by continuing on with the road that looks less threatening, while others may take the road not taken before (like Robert Frost). Some may sit immobile staring at the choices confronting them.

We may need to choose between the known and the unknown; the profitable or the preferrable; the lesser of two evils; or even a choice between “me” vs “us”. Often, it is a struggle between the matters of the mind and that of the heart – the logical and rational conclusion created by the mind vs the instinctual tugs of the heart-strings.

In those times of indecision, we may experience feelings of helplessness, frustration, stress and worry. The more we attempt to gaze into a crystal ball to see the consequences of the choices before us, the more it seems to add to our frustrations because the future is uncertain and incalculable. After all, what we are doing is leaping into the future because we are dissatisfied with the present. Yet what we really need to look at is the dissatisfaction itself and whether a change will solve that dissatisfaction or whether it is intrinsic to us. On the other hand, if a change is required, we should be bold in discarding our security blanket as wallowing in self-pity and lethargy is equally toxic as the situation we are in.

So for those standing at the crossroad of life, give yourself the space to be present to the choices before you. The answer will come. Sometimes the choice may lead you to where you want to be, other times it may lead you to an even better place. It may lead you to a totally different path or even a dead-end. At least, you keep moving.

Don’t get bogged down by indecision and the anxiety for the future. A well-known Buddhist quote is “If you can do something about it, then do it. If you can’t do anything about it, then why worry about it?”

As for those who find themselves in a tricky ethical situation, I would like you to consider this dilemma:

You pass by a live fly trapped in a spider wed and you see the spider making its way towards the fly. Do you (1) rescue the fly, which means the spider would then lose its feed and go hungry, or (2) you leave the fly, which means it would get eaten by the spider.

This was an actual scenario at a Unibuds Summer Retreat at Wat Pa Buddharangsee a couple of years ago. I still remember that we had a discussion about this there, and a ‘senior’ Buddhist had said to me, “I think we should leave it as it is; we humans are always intruding in nature thinking we know what’s best. I believe that things will unfold the way it should.” The fly wasn’t rescued, but the question remained unsettled in the retreaters’ minds.

Later on, this scenario was posed to the speaker Rod Lee at a Unibuds dhamma talk. Rod’s view was that we should save the fly. He reasoned that where the spider may go hungry if the fly is gone, it will not die but can wait for the next sucker. On the other hand, the fly not rescued is sure to be eaten and that would be the end of him. As to what role we have to play in this interaction as a third party, Rod said that when we encounter a situation, then we have been made a part of that situation whether we like it or not, and therefore we should make a decision to act accordingly.

Come to think of it, the passive response of the senior Buddhist is filled with as much hubris as that of the ‘intruders’ she was referring to. After all, the view that if we do nothing then we can’t do wrong is merely our way of absolving ourselves of responsibility. In reality, however, we do have to make decisions and our ability to solve problems – particularly abstract problems – is what distinguishes us from other species.

So if you ever encounter a problematic situation in which your intervention is required (as opposed to where the best action is really non-action), you may choose to turn your back to it or leave it up to others to resolve – like leaving the fly to fend for itself or for someone to come along and save it. Or you may save that fly because you recognise that you are in the position to do so. This may come at an inconvenience or even sacrifice to you, but I am a real believer that with every sacrifice will result in an immeasurable gain.

Whatever decision you ultimately make, make no mistake that it will change where your path will take you, and equally important, it is a telling sign as to what your priorities in life are.

Thinking so, I hope this inspires you to move from indecision to place yourself in-decision: to be fully present to the decision-making process and to realise that you are a part of the decision whether you participate through action or lack of. After all, the world moves through the changes created by the individuals and their efforts.

Life is indeed a journey in which we are all travelling on. Although some may feel sheltered by the vehicles they are travelling in, the road will inevitable change to force one to walk on their own to feel the solid ground beneath their bare feet.

Prejudice

In our politically-correct society, we like to believe that we aren’t prejudicial, aren’t racist, aren’t sexist. In this land of young and free, we like to think we do give people a fair-go.

Yet at times, our social conditioning of embedded stereotyping surfaces its ugly rear, and we are shocked to see just how deep our prejudices are, and how shallow our minds can be.

Let’s face it, in our minds we do hold a face for wealth, a face for beauty, a face for intelligence, a face for goodness and innocence. In our minds we also have a face for a criminality, poverty and ‘just-don’t-have-a-good-feeling-about-him’.

Recently, a contestant on British Idol tested the waters of prejudice, and she definitely made waves and even tears. Have a look at this clip below…it’s amazing.

Meditation by the Water

Last Saturday, I led a short meditation overlooking a peaceful stream in the Royal National Park. Thought I’d share a piece of the tranquility with you.

Breathe in, relax. Breathe out, relax.

Open yourself fully to the world around you, embrace the stillness of nature, and be present to this very moment.

Reflect on the calmness of the world beyond you, the sounds of nature, and the silent harmony that pervades the depths of the air you breathe in and out.

Now listen to the world that exists within you. Hear the clattering of your mind, the ceaseless talking to ourselves. See the patterns and habits of the mind – planning, scheming, calculating, judging, comparing, worrying, daydreaming. Note when it flies into the past of memories, reliving them again and again like an addiction to thought. Note when it chases after the future, trying to control time by planning and hoping.

But allow yourself to let all that thinking go, just for a moment. Reassure yourself, that even if you stop thinking for just a few moments, it’ll be ok. Give yourself permission to enjoy this moment, without calculating what you could be doing instead. Encourage yourself that you deserve this time out from the hectic life you lead, and the frantic thinking you are so accustomed to.

When the busyness of life becomes our norm, we forget the importance of stopping. We only know of going. Busyness becomes our life’s structure, and an excuse to be selfish. Busyness changes our priorities where worldly goals come before spiritual ones. Busyness makes us forget, that busyness is not a reality, but an attitude and way of life we have chosen to adopt. Sitting here, you get to choose again. At this moment, can you see this mentality of busyness? Will you choose to take it? Or will you choose to leave it?

Meditation is often neglected as last in our list of priorities. But it is when we are busiest, that meditation is most important to keep our stresses down and our energies high. I would encourage you all to practice meditation, to see the value of this practice, rather than a chore. And I hope this practice will continue, long after this session ends.

So let’s sit in quiet meditation for 10 minutes, so you can truly practice in your own way, whether it’s by focussing on your breath, on the water before you, or spreading metta to all living beings. Please adjust your sitting posture and find your inner peace.

Why are relationships so difficult? (Part 2)

The long-awaited Part 2 is finally here.

Truth is, since the last entry in August, I’ve got no wiser answer!

So I’ll do what I do best – answer the question with another question to answer the first question. If relationships are so difficult, why oh why do we still keep falling into this desire cycle again and again?

The answer to such a philosophical question can be found in what happened to me on Saturday at a random Hens party.

I was invited to this random Hens party on Saturday as the Tarot Reader. Of the 18 girls I read, 2 asked about changing jobs, 1 about getting rich, 1 about a problem at work, 1 about her daughter and 2 about balancing work and life. 11 asked about love (getting it, having it and leaving it).

It was interesting watching it all. I spoke to each girl one-on-one, and some really opened up to me (Two cried!). So I heard 11 stories about how they can’t find the right person, or they found someone but like someone else, or they have someone but can’t stand them, or that someone can’t stand them. Then there was the married ladies and they weren’t any better. They complained how they were neglected, or the hubby can’t show them affection and attention, and one was accused of cheating by her jealous husband. Gosh, I felt more like a marriage counsellor than a tarot reader!

Then came in the bride-to-be. Obviously she wanted to ask about her marriage to which I refused to do a reading for for similarly obvious reasons. Also because she had a completely different aura from everyone else – where others were indecisive and unsure, I can feel there was a certainty in her love for her fiance.

So now I come to the bold conclusion as to what makes us pursue these inevitably difficult relationships. It’s the same reason why the bride-to-be was beaming the whole day, and what made all the other 11 girls ask those questions.

Some may say “love”, but I disagree because sometimes people are stuck in relationships where the love has long subsided.

Others may say “recklessness” or “stupidity”, and arguably that’s a closer answer.

“Attachment” is a good Buddhist answer, but also a catch-all one that doesn’t really say much.

So I’ll say the answer is hope.

Hope that this union will bring happiness, enrichment, meaning, and fill the void in our self (hence the concept of soulmate). Hope that the future is bright. Hope that at the core is love.

Now hope in itself doesn’t have to be an issue. In fact, it can be an extremely inspiring force, attracting positivity and engagement. If we stop hoping, and give up on the relationship (or the other person!), love can’t find its way in.

On the other hand, hope becomes problematic when the focus turns away from the present and into the future. The present moment is tainted by the desire for the future that has yet to come, or even by comparisons with the past that has already become just memories.

Also, when hope becomes expectation, and in particular unfulfiled expectation, the relationship may be strained. This can manifest in the partners trying to change or dominate the other, trying to create the ideal relationship or love to fit with what they hoped it to be.

So there you have it. Why relationships are so difficult are because of (1) our egos, and (2) our never-ending hopes and expectations. Stay tuned – if I think of anything else, there might be a part 3! Until then, I hope without expectations that we…

Love wholeheartedly the person we’re with

at this present moment,

for neither is here forever.

Duplicity

In our fast-paced and individualistic society, communication and relationship breakdowns are commonplace. At work, we mask ourselves with professionalism, and hide our hearts and emotions like vulnerable children to be protected at all costs. At home, we shut ourselves off to rejuvenate from the busyness of life or snap at our loved ones because our patience has worn thin throughout the day. But more importantly, within ourselves, we have lost our understanding of ourselves as well.

We talk a lot. We have landline phones, mobile phones, i-phones, webcam, msnchat, googlechat, yahoochat, coffeechat, morningteachat, yumchachat, postmail, email, voicemail, blackberries, blogs, facebook, myspace, but no space!

And yet, how many of these are to maintain superficial friendships and networks, rather than genuine care and support for one another? How many of us are great talkers, but terrible listeners? How many times do we argue with ourselves a day? And how many of those arguments do we win and are forever resolved?

I feel we walk around with masks on, presenting the face we think will allow us to gain the most benefit from a particular person at that particular time. But once that situation changes, the mask is taken off and replaced by another. Sometimes pleasant, others not so.

Yet there are glimpses of our true self from time to time. It could be a shock that pushes us out of the mundane routine, or a negative person or event that pushes our buttons and our habitual defilements (like anger or jealousy) take over instead. In those moments, the suppressed becomes overt and the masks fall off as the composure to maintain it has disappeared.

But at those times, since we are so flustered by the external event that had toppled us, we can’t see ourselves clearly, or we only see the negative tendencies. A more objective and proper view of ourselves comes when we are calm, quiet, open, objective and accepting. That is why meditation provides great insights into any situation, problem, or personality.

So today is a new day. Walk talk, speak gently, listen sincerely, think wisely and live truly. No matter how dirty your environment may be, rise above that and remember that no gain in reputation, monetary, or promotion is greater than an honourable and happy life. And such a life is only such when you’re surrounded by people who care about you, and you for them in return.

Beating the Universe

It is accepted universal truth that life is uncertain and unpredictable, and it is a known statistical probability that whatever you plan or wish for, things never turn out the way you imagined it to be.

“What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.”

Yet as fallible and cunning humans who just love hitting those walls, we keep trying to plan, to order, to control, to manipulate, and to make the universe yield to our demands.

One of my cunning tricks was to deliberately think of all the worse possible scenerios because I knew by the power of negative thinking, it would automatically decrease the chances of it happening! For a while, it worked brilliantly – I was never disappointed, as every time if I was scared something would happen, I would play the whole scene in my mind to the most minute detail I can. And of course, reality never panned out that way. It was like the universe was trying to do all it can to not match my imagination.

For a while, I thought I had cracked the code; I had beat the universe.

For the more intelligent readers (aren’t you all?), you may have guessed what happened. To counter unpredictability by being unpredictable, you fall into the trap of predictability. What I was doing was actually creating a habit of predictability, a habit of negative thinking in order to ‘beat’ the universe. It all backfired of course, because what happened was the result turned out to be WORSE than I had predicted. I guess the universe’s creativity is much beyond my imagination.

So then I tried another way. Instead of ‘beating’ against the Universe, I’m befriending it. I’m smiling at its surprises (which are more interesting than the ones I came up with), grateful for its gifts (which are better that what I wish for), laughing at its randomness, and floating on its rhythms, as I feel much more secure holding onto a faith in it, and knowing…I am on the right track.

Now I have a whole new meaning for the phrase, “If you can’t beat them, join them!”

B.B.Day – reflections

I think I have finally defeated my Bad.Birth.Day karma. How? By changing my perspective and my attitude in living that special day. But I didn’t do it alone. If it weren’t for my wonderful family, my endearing friends, and my ever-enduring boyfriend…my B.B.Day karma might still linger like shadows, following me through the year.

My first hurdle was to understand why B.B.Day karma kept following me round every year. Like most troubles in life, the main cause was that thing in me that kept yelling for attention: “Me, me, me!” The one that wanted that one special day where the world would revolved around IT. The IT that knew that would not be possible, but still insisted that IT is the most important thing in this world just because IT happened to be born on this particular day two decades or so ago. The one that insisted IT to be capitalised even though it is still nameless and not a proper noun.

After seeing how much attention IT requires from me all the time and how annoying IT really is, trying to satisfy all ITs wants wasn’t that important anymore. In fact, IT started to lose ITs significance and IT started to see that IT was not the centre of the universe, but an intricate part of the world that supprts IT.

So instead of imposing ITself onto others, or allowing others to impress themselves on IT, IT flowed with the world quietly and unassumingly, with humble appreciation and understanding. By lesseneing the need to fulfil all of ITs desires and expectations, a sense of freedom and peacefulness arose very naturally.

Once I had my internal agreement with IT, I slowly turned outward. First, I attended the Dalai Lama’s talk, which was the spiritual and inspriational part of my day. What impresses me the most about His Holiness isn’t so much what he says, but his presence. There is a peacefulness and easiness about him. There is immediate trust and closeness even if you half a stadium away. There is genuineness in his actions and speech. You naturally want to laugh when you hear him laugh. I have never really heard so much sincerity in someone’s laugh the way he does it.

I have come to learn that it’s the little things that are the most powerful. You can save the world by just giving to those nearest to you. Do you know how powerful your smile can be if it is from your heart? Do you know how important giving your full attention to someone in distress really is? Do you realise how wonderful you can make others feel by YOU just being happy and peaceful? If you don’t, then think about times when you have received a fake smile or a nervous laugh, or when the person you speak to is not really paying attention to you and distracted with something else. Think about how it feels to be around stressful, agitated or depressing people. Their vibes carry to you too, and if you aren’t mindful, you might adopt those moods as well.

I feel that living in this competitive and frenzied world, we often foster mistrust, distrust, and unfounded suspicion for those around us, whether they are our collegues or strangers, family or friends. As the Dalai Lama said, if we are sincere in our interactions with other people, even if they do not return that sincerity, we can still smile without regret.

My final step of my B.B.Day moved from internal and semi-external to full-external. I spent the night with my wonderful friends, touched by their presence and happiness. I am truly thankful for the time together with them, because without them, I would not be me! I know that in life we get so busy and forget to “keep in touch”, but the community we build around us and the relationships we foster are the most important things we can ‘do’ with our lives – not the work we ‘do’.

On Sunday night I had dinner with my endearing family, who have always been there for me, and I know who will continue to love (and spoil!) me. I remember looking around the table and feeling the warmth from them. I realised that the sincerity and love the Dalai Lama was talking about exists here too, within my very home.

My family and I had dinner at a few-months old Japanese/Korean restaurant in Bankstown. It’s my second time there. The first time, they had only been opened for a fortnight. My friend and I were the only customers there. This time when I returned, it’s still quiet, but getting busier. Even the food is nice, it is a different type of food compared with the numerous Vietnamese restaurants that line Bankstown’s streets. I can tell they are struggling. So I always feel by just going to eat there I am supporting their life and dreams. Some say that an empty restaurant means the food ain’t nice, but often it might just be because they haven’t been given a proper chance! Who knows, you might become the loyal customer, without whom the restaurant could never be! See? Another way to help people!

So all in all, I have come to see that I have even Bad.Birth.Day karma can be turned into positive Be.Birth.Day karma by just switching our mindset to one that is more open, more compassionate, and a little more wise.

Happy B.B.day to you, whenever that day may be!

“What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson