Interior Dialogue (2007)

A short skit

Characters:

Distressed girlfriend (DG)

Soothing best friend (SBF)

Script:
DG:  “He said he’d call.”

SBF: “Has he?”

DG:  “No.”

SBF: “Oh…” (With sympathy)

DG:  “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting…”

SBF: “Maybe he’s busy.”

DG:  “Is a phone call too much to ask?”

SBF: “Maybe he can’t find a phone.”

DG:  “Hello, it’s the 21st century! There’s phones everywhere!”

SBF: “Maybe he’s got no money.”

DG:  “What 50c?”

SBF: “Maybe he’s ill.”

DG:  “Then shouldn’t he call so i can make him feel better?”

SBF: “Maybe…maybe he’s dead.”

DG:  “What?!”

SBF: “I dunno…i’m out of reasons.”

DG:  “There’s no reason. The only reason is he’s cheating on me!”

SBF: “What? No, you’re just being insecure.”

DG:  “No I’m not! It totally makes sense, like that time when he…”

SBF: “No, no, seriously he’s not cheating on you. Just the other day he was saying how much he loves you.”

DG:  “Really? And…?”

SBF: “And…er…and how beautiful you are, and what an amazing girlfriend you are.”

DG:  “Yea I’m pretty amazing.”

SBF: “See?”

DG:  “Yea…” (Sighs, in heaven mode)

SBF: “But…i guess it’s still weird that he hasn’t called you…”

DG:  “Oh it’s ok, he loves me.”

SBF: “Yes, but he should’ve called you by now.”

DG:  “Maybe he’s busy.”

SBF: “But it’s just a phone call.”

DG:  “Maybe he can’t find a phone.”

SBF: “But there’s phones everywhere!”

DG:  “Maybe he’s got no money.”

SBF: “I’m sure he has 50c!”

DG:  “Maybe he’s ill.”

SBF: “Then shouldn’t he call you to let you know so you can take care of him?”

DG:  “Maybe…maybe…”

SBF: “He’s dead!”

DG:  “No! Don’t say that…!”

SBF: “Ok, then maybe he’s cheating on you!”

DG:  “No way, he loves me! And he thinks i’m beautiful and an amazing girlfriend.”

SBF: “I dunno, a guy who says he’s gonna call a girl should call a girl.”

DG:  “Well, he didn’t say he’d call me…it was more like (imitating cool whatever guy) a casual ‘i’ll call’.”

SBF: “I see…”

DG:  “So no dramas. He’ll probably call in a few days.”

Phone rings.

DG:  “It must be him!”

Takes out her phone.

DG:  “Hello? Oh hi mum.”

***

Alternative ending:

SBF:  Why don’t you just call him?!